The 3rd Dimension – So little to say and so much time!!!

Wine Into Grapes, Grapes Into Wine
September 29, 2010, 7:00 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Wine Into Grapes, Grapes Into Wine

A treatise on why pick up lines, openers, and other such artificial constructs for meeting quality women never work


Setting: Reno – Some evening in September

Time: Too late to give a damn

I had been standing at the craps table for almost an hour now. I wanted a drink but I just didn’t want any old drink, I wanted a Dr Pepper. But hell I just didn’t want -any- Dr Pepper – I wanted an Alcoholic Dr Pepper! If you thought I were done there – NOPE – I won’t settle for just a plain old Alcoholic Dr Pepper – I want an Alcoholic Dr Pepper that does not taste like total bullsh*t! There I said it. Satisfied with my angsty mental gymnastics I see a cocktail waitress quickly  make her way up the crowd from the opposite end of the Craps table. This entire night I’ve tried Dr Pepper mixed with gin, vodka, jagermeister, etc and they’ve all tasted like total bs to me. What a life. Dr Pepper may be as it claims – it’s too unique a drink to be compatible with anything. Hey sounds like someone I know 😛  Makes me wonder why I like the stuff so much. Anyway at least in the casinos I can have the house mix up whatever gd combination of fluids I want without paying anything except tip. Casinos are my lab for concocting new bizzare drink creations.

Anyway she’s coming up the aisle near me now. I’ll ask her if she knows anything that mixes well with Dr. Pepper. Given her job she’s probably had to bring out just about everything so she’d probably know what people have tried. The 2 people playing in front of me in our staggered line formation at the craps table did not bother asking for drinks. Now she’s in range. I’m parched and it’s finally time to get my drink. I watch her barely pass 1 step into my personal space before I quickly and almost desperately blurt out, “excuse me!”

She turns around with her circle tray full of drinks and a pen all whipped out already about to take down my order. I look at her for a second just as I am about to ask my question and my heart skips a beat right as she completes her turn and faces me. Nicely figured girl a bit shorter than me with medium length black hair and a cute face. Age about mine but probably 2-3 years younger from my assessment. She just exudes that really feminine energy I am attracted to. My mind thinks out loud in that gap between measurable time, “My – you’re kinda cute!”. I quickly shake off the sentiment though as I had a much more important mission in mind.

(I am the “” convos,   she is the “” convos with >> preceding them)

“Hi are you a big drinker by any chance?”

>> “No I don’t drink.”

My mind gawks at the utter irony of this scene – a non drinking cocktail waitress. At the same time though my mind also scribbles a mental note. +5 compatibility. I only drink socially and sparsely at that. Anyway…

“I’ve been looking for something that mixes well with Dr Pepper – would you know such a thing?”

>> “Hmmm not really…”

She then goes on about something which I don’t remember. We talk for a bit regardless of the fact that some asshat 5 feet away is probably gonna murder me for holding up the flow of free liquor. Finally I just ask for one of my usual mainstay drinks and have her begone. Our eyes lock for a moment on her way out before her busy job gets ahold of her once again. In that moment I felt something communicated in that quick glance. That I’m not just another horny drunk rude casino patron in her eyes anymore. That I’m a real human being. That she might like me. That I’m in.

What has always bothered me about the pickup community in general is their blind adherence to formulas, patterns, openers, and other such foolproof logical flowcharts when dealing with women in order to “get in”. Even the great Mystery’s treatise on snagging women is nothing but a flowchart gone mad for 200 somewhat odd pages. One would think that after browsing through that manual I could program a computer to pick up women for me! It was that logically written – it covered every possible situation and what you should do (well not every but the intent was there in the book). It was as if the art of meeting women could be distilled into a series of logical steps that would produce consistent results.

I can’t bash the process too much because this is how I got started as well. As a conscious human being though I quickly saw through the games and realized that this was just a sales pitch. Consistent, repetitive, and evolved to bring out the best results again and again. I hate sales and salespeople in general – passionately. I always think if something was really that great it would sell itself on it’s own merit without some nervous pimply faced 16 year old kid trying to hawk it at you from the in mall booths of every major mall in America. It was exactly that approach all “pick up women”-esque types were teaching. To be that annoying immature kid getting in people’s way right as they’re trying to walk by and going, “Hey what do you think of your phone service?” Each teacher would just try to dress up their annoyance (aka material/openers) differently but in essence it was all the same. All sales pitches aimed at scoring as many women as possible. Woman hates you? Sell your pitch to the next nearest woman 10 feet away! The entire process disgusts me to the core as it is – dehumanizing. You are basically selling out. You are removing all definition and sense of yourself to follow this script which presents you as someone you are not in hopes of scoring some ass later that night. And it works – if you like easy low quality women no one else wants. In fact it’s what those sales pitchers deserve – it’s fitting for such a gross violation of nature’s law.

What got me thinking when I wrote my above story is this. If I had continued this story with “oh yeah we talked later that night, I ran x y z routines, she did a b and c indicators of interest, I succesfully phase shifted and had her go through e,f,g we came back to my hotel room and I screwed her silly” then some random kid on the internet would see my story and then go.

Aha! Genius! I gotta try that OPENER. Now you have poor immature undefined kid go up to the next girl and go, “Hi, sorry to bother you, but I’ve been looking for something that mixes well with Dr Pepper. Would you know such a thing?” He’d try it 100 times and get lucky a few times. He’d post his “lay report” up and the fibonnaci-esque distribution of my opener would continue. Soon you’d get 1000’s of guys all over the US trying the same “pick-up line” on the next woman that passes by with variations. “Hi, you look like a pretty fun person, Do you drink Dr Pepper? I was wondering if you knew someth….” etc… It would continue until the women would get sick of it. Kind of like how it happened on Sunset Strip with Neil Strauss’ opinion openers. “What’s with all these guys asking us the same thing?” they’d wonder to themselves. Then the pickup line would become too popular, get old, wouldn’t work anymore, and kid just goes on the internet to find a new sales pitch to try. Thus the cycle continues until one breaks out of it…

When I read Pook’s writings on placing the focus on you in The Book of Pook I had a vague idea of what he was trying to get at. It was what I had been advocating for almost 3 years now – the concept of definition – of defining who you are as unique. My old blog had a little rant on this concept of definition in regards to it being the core ingredient in defining one’s life and reality – one’s world if you will. I didn’t realize such a grand concept could be applied to the benign world of meeting women. The power to meet, connect, and advance relationships with the opposite gender did not come from studying pickup, movies, openers body language, communication, psychology, PDF’s on meeting women, etc… It came from being who you are. It came from defining yourself as a person and going all in on that. It was about being yourself, unique, and creating your own world. The basis of “personality” was that which defines a unique person. What seperates you from the inseperable boring masses? That is your personality, your definition, your world, your being, your power to snag women, your power to define your life, your keys to happiness. It only all made sense now. It also explained why people who were good with women would extend that goodness to the rest of their lives like careers. My intellectual mind knew of this for a while but it was only now that it sunk into the heart. It was only now when intelligence transmuted itself to wisdom.

Expanding on this notion of “being who you are” I never got this Dr Pepper “opener” from the internet. It came from -me-. It came from what -I- want. It came from -my- world where I think Dr Pepper should still be made with real sugar beyond 2010. The best pick up lines and openers come from you. You can only generate these gems naturally by developing yourself. All the best pick up lines and openers on the internet were derived from some man being himself and pursuing what he loves. All the naturals out there who’ve always snagged women without even thinking about it with the infinite number of openers they can generate – their secret is this. They are defined. They are grapes that can produce all manner of fine wines.

I now realized what was wrong with today’s men. Everyone was trying to turn wine into grapes. But we all know that is an impossible feat. We can only turn grapes into wine. Grapes being the essence of manliness. Wine being the results of manliness i.e. pick up lines, openers, transitions,  etc… There are no more men left – no more models to emulate – no more knowledge of what a grape is. Pook covers this concept in his – well – entire book! We no longer know what makes a man – we only know of it’s effects. We no longer know how grapes are made we only taste the wine. The wine also being things like “alpha male body language, “cocky and funny”, “not needy”, “decisive”, “not attached to outcomes”, etc… We have an idea of how men are supposed to act like to attract women but we’ve lost the grapes – the source – of how these actions come about. Only by remembering what we’ve forgotten – how a grape really is – can we hope to once again create wine without needing to look on the internet at other people’s recipes. For each one of us makes his own wine which has it’s own distinct flavor. It is this variety and depth of wine that attracts women. It is that one special variant; that one special something the significant other is looking for in you – the one only you can provide.

Let’s stop trying to turn wine into grapes and start turning grapes into wine.

Hey it’s Reno girl part 2!
September 13, 2010, 7:00 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

New Year’s 2011 Revised edition – Updated Jan 4th, 2011

This is part 2 of a story. Part 1 is actually that post entitled 11 days to vegas – echoes of the game. Please read that first if you haven’t already or else this section will not make much sense to you.

The following events take place approximately 2 weeks after the events in my Vegas getaway. After the tumultuous time described earlier we decide to go to Reno to relax and continue where we left off somewhat. Timeframe for this is very early August. The events in part 1 of my reno story took place before the epic vegas trip on July 4th weekend. Thus is has been approx a month since I went to Reno (part 1 of the story) and 2 weeks since the epic vegas trip and the whirlwind of events that proceed it. For you visual thinkers here’s how it looks:

First reno trip (part 1 of story)

Epic vegas trip (cut short due to unfortunate circumstances)

Second reno trip (this story)

On with the show…

I put the keycard in the door and turn the knob once the green light flashes confirming my entry. The unassuming brown wooden door opens up to a scene from Imperialist Mexico. Hybrid Spanish-Mex architechture is seen all over the place as the bedroom opens up to fit in a king sized bed, spa, electronic pop up stand with television, and numerous fancy wood drawers all over the place. There is a small sink and personal ice machine along one wall – right next to a mini bar fridge. Large oil paint pictures are hung on the sides of the room – 2 or 3 of them in various corners of the room. A 3 or 4 seater circular table is flanked right underneath one of the oil paintings of a dock and ships. The bedroom/spa and everything else setup is like a huge studio apartment. Along the corner are 2 3 person couches and a nighstand. You’d think that with all this crap in one room it’d be kind of smooshed. Aww aww naww! There was enough space in the large empty middle cavity of the room to break dance if you wanted to without worrying about hitting anything. Another hallway to the side leads of into a large restroom hallway with an almost walk-in closet and 3 sinks. On the farther wall is one of those dressing room type 3 angle mirrors to indulge in one’s narcissism and self love. A plain white door leads further into the actual restroom which has a toilet and opposite that omfg a shower/personal steam room!!! All of this restroomy goodness encased in black marble walls inside this small chamber. Gdamn what a score!!! The spa suites at the Eldorado are some bomb diggity living emplacements! I guess knowing preferred casino players does have it’s advantages. Brings a smile to my face just thinking about the place.

It was about 6pm-ish that night and it was time to dress up for another night of gaming. The hot summer’s over in Reno don’t give much leeway for wearing anything halfway decent so it’s just beat up pants and beat up shirt to survive the onslaught of heat. It’s only at night when the mercury dies down a bit in which you can think about wearing something that doesn’t make you look like a total scrub. It was time to get ready so I open up my huge suitcase for this short 2 day trip. Given the chaos which had happened the last 2 weeks I never really unpacked the stuff I took to Vegas so for this trip I just took the entire case added some extra’s and hauled it off with me. You would’ve sworn this was a clown’s closet with the packed density of all the absurd things I packed in here. Cowboy hat from Vegas was still here along with blue game show shiny shirt and red snakeskin shirt SsssssSsss. A bunch of other clothes and styles to match every possible combination on the color palette lay folded up or thrown in some random crevice of the suitcase packed in so tight you’d think they were going to explode into a wrinkled mess upon being liberated. I just grabbed some after bath wear and headed off to try out the steam room! Oh boys this will be epic – I love the clean detoxy clear all your sinuses feeling a total mist treatment gives you.

Once I was inside the steam room I turned up the panel to full. I thought the contraption wasn’t working for a while until I started to see the steam pour out of a vented opening in the wall near the very bottom of the room. The room was quickly filling up with steam now. It was getting out of control but it felt good – real good. I can almost envision some random staticy voice from the SAW movies coming in at this point and going “Hello you, I want to play a game!!!” as the steam chamber locks itself while more steam pours forth. It was quite a load of steam though – I tell you that. The only annoying portion of this was the fact that all the steam would pour out from one small concentrated area near the floor of the chamber. Thus if you stood in one spot too long you would feel the temperature slowly rising up and eventually start to feel scalding. Because of this you had to move every miunte or so – kind of like that dragon fight in World of Warcraft or else you’d get steampressed to oblivion. I eventually found refuge on the raised portion of the platform by going on it in a crawling position. You couldn’t stand on the platform since the same scalding problem would somehow form so you had to practically crawl on the raised portion looking like you’re about to take it hard. Ironically this position offered refuge from the scalding steam heat. Eventually after 20 minutes of this I turned off the steam and turned on the shower to finish up. I felt so fresh and clean afterwards.

It was now time for me to decide what I would wear for tonight. In the back of my mind I entertained the succint possibility I may see Reno girl again so I had to look at least somewhat decent. I opened up the clowncase and tried on many of the clothes therein. God now I know how women feel before a night out to….. anywhere : – P! Tried one outfit on naaah too urbany. Nahh too cheesy. Nahh too regular. Nahh too tryhard (gg blue shiny shirt). etc… I also found out my snakeskin shirt did not fit anymore :-(. I guess this isn’t 2002 or 2005 anymore – my how things change. I remember I made the conscious decision to stop exercising regularly in September 2006 because it wasn’t really who I am. I guess 4 years later one starts to see the results of their long term choices. I look in the 3 way mirror and see 3 times the fat : – P. Good job fatty. I eventually fixed on a setup I tried earlier with some success business casual and blue jeans. I thought it said all the right things. I am a little classier and different than most men (or so I like to think : – P) but I’m not a stiffer I like to relax and have fun. It makes me look fit not somewhat overwight like snakeskin now does (though it was still my first choice for undershirt). Now I had to communicate that I am also so much more fun than you others out there! That’s why Vegas cowboy hat is going along on my head for the ride! Perfect! Pleased with the act I decide to see what was next on the agenda.

I call up the folks and I hear we were gonna try the steakhouse special at Circus Circus that I suggested a while back. Ads strewn all over the casino advertised a 4 course meal of your choice for only 20$ (now raised to 24.95 as of Sept. 😦 ). I meet everyone up and have the meal – it was a decent affair. I got the steakhouse burger and while I didn’t find it was anything too special it was decent. I still think the Kobe burger promotion in Vegas kicked it’s ass hard. The burger was so large that I had to take half of it as take out. After the meal we all go back to the suite again for an in room prayer dedication to grandma. Once that’s done we all decide to split off since it’s game time :-D! I head towards my usual thoroughfare at this point…

It is about 8:45 PM now and the sky is getting a bit reddish-bluish dusky as the sun is giving way to the moon. Apparently there is some super beefed up vintage car show going on tonight as the roads are blocked off to pedestrians while a never ending parade of vintage cars speeds off in pairs. The crowds are all chatting excitedly amongst themselves as the cars keep zooming by. Unfortunately because of this though I can’t cross the road to get to the other side :-O. The streets are blocked off for what looks like 8 blocks in both directions from where I am standing so it would be so not worth it to have to walk that far to find a break. Actually from the looks of it the cones in the distance curve off in the direction I want to go so it could be a rectangular racetrack with the point I want to go to in the middle. Damnit another cockblock!  Anyway I lose a bit of hope and decide to take the long journey anyway hoping to find an opening. Fortunately some indian family wanted to go through and a few cops waved the procession off and opened some of the pedestrian barriers. I quickly dashed across with them – success! 😀

I enter my favorite haunt and scan around making an initial assessment of my surroundings. Craps table excitement, hot girls, interesting things to do, pit boss positions, etc… I play a quick uneventful game of craps for one roll and about break even. I decide to venture further in the casino to look at what’s going on further in. Karaoke is blaring as usual with some drunken fool singing some country song of some sort. I scan the tables looking for blackjack with liberal rules. And then I see her! or do I? Is it her? Reno girl? Over at the table in the distance? I quickly dash off into an empty bank of slots to collect my thoughts and get ready for possibly seeing her again. Oh yeah real smooth me : – P. If Neil Strauss were dead he’d be double-pitching in his grave like a pair of badly controlled craps dice at what just happened. She didn’t see me since she was working a table out of line of sight but someone working the eye of the sky surveillance cams would probably be laughing his ass off at this point if he just saw what transpired and knew the story herein. Way to go reptilian brain. For some reason I thought I got over this kind of stuff in high school but I guess when I sat down at the slots to compose my thoughts I found out why I suddenly freaked out. I listen to my ego thought stream:

This is the girl you talked to last time you were in Reno…

Oh gods you asked for her contact info in front of – let’s see now…..   everyone!

Oh yeah and you left that “comment card” which was actually a restaurant comment card you crossed out all the restaurant shit from and put in your own comments to try and get this girl your contact info (because the place hasn’t had real comment cards for years). Either really smooth or really creepy bud!

Yeah she never got back to you – for all you know she could be really flattered – or hate you and all men and want to rip your entrails into multiple partitions (which could easily be accomplished by calling security) at the worst case due to misinterpretation of your comment card fiasco as some casino extortion scheme with dealer cooperation <— possible danger with that one

You gotta be prepared for her either being really into you or a really awkward game as she realizes omfg it’s “him” again…

Hey big boy you feel the pressure yet??? 😀

The role of the ego in the human psyche is to protect you from shame and harm because your ego is invested in your body for survival. Without the essential physical “you” alive and well your ego would cease to exist. Well screw that and it’s imaginary trappings of worst case scenarios that never play out!!! Pessimistic whore that ego is! If I left it up for the ego to run my life I’d probably be some crazed neurotic mess who poo’s all over his apartment and packs it in a poo lasanga in his bathtub ala Martin Random storytelling style (link – an excellent piece of writing by the way). I decide to disregard my not-so-better self and move in for the close!

I approach the table casually as if I were just passing through like I do with all the other tables just wanting to check out the rules and all. As I pass by the table I enter her line of sight. I look over at her and take a good quick glance – looks like her alright! Oh my it is her! Before I can consciously recall my next thought to fetch an opening line or smile or whatever have you she just cuts in casually with a very matter-of-fact tone smiling

So –  where’s the frog?

And with that time stops for me – just for few seconds. I really did feel and swear a lapse in time occured at that moment. Like one of those movies where right after a pivotal event the movie gets cut out and narration fills in their own afterthoughts of what just transpired.

Whatever was supposed to be next in line for mental processing was roughly ripped off the conveyor belt and replaced with (omfg she remembers me? yay!)  Oh and what – she looks – wait – IS happy to see me? She recognizes me even through this casual + cowboy hat setup? She’s not mistaking me for someone else? She knows about the frog?!

I look at her face specifically her smile. Oh my god she is so beautiful. I almost feel a tinge of unworthiness surface from the deep unconscious bowels of my mind as I just stare at her. Everything seems so surreal. God she is angelic. Everything in the world seems right for just that one moment.

And with that our tale plays out again. I really hope I didn’t just stand there with a wonderment double rainbow gasp for 25 minutes due to time compression. I quickly recover my composure and grin back and asked about how she knew about my plush green friend. She then mentions she likes my hat. She goes over to touch the brim out of curiosity. This is what exactly happened to Neil Strauss as he was wearing a cowboy hat in one of his tales. I did not go his route with the ‘Hands off the merchandise!’ line he fired back with as it would be too cliche and ruin the purity of this moment. If any of you read the book anyway you know he doesn’t succeed with that particular girl in the end anyway. We engage in small talk and I tell her I’m looking for some good blackjack tables. I let her know that if I win that I’d be back. She points me to one of the neighboring tables a few steps down – it is as she said double down on any number single deck w00t. I play a few hands and make about 23$ – it’s time to see Reno girl again.

While I was at the blackjack table I quickly renumerated a plan for my next moves. Let’s go over what we need to know so far:

Is she my type? How is this girl really like? I need hard facts no assumptions.

Is she really that into me?

Did she ever get my comment card? What did she think of it?

Does she like me because I am fun and interesting or only because I am a good tipper?

Is her interest in me genuine or feigned? Is she like this with everybody? Is she trying to manipulate me?


Women in their infinite wisdom needed to answer questions about a potential mate in the same fashion. Thus they invented the ingenius concept of a ‘test’. It is not in anyone’s fashion to directly ask questions like these to ascertain the truth about a person – you need to go under the radar. Thus the ‘test’ is born – you present a situation and you see how they react. Their reaction forms the basis of whether you pass or fail the test. Women do not test as men do though – men test deliberately with conscious thought. Women have gotten the science of testing down to an art – they do it unconsciously and can read the results with paranormal accuracy. It was time for me to try something out. I decided to go with the freezeout where you don’t talk to the girl much and don’t give her much of your attention. This sounds like a total dick move though – so why did I choose the freezeout? It is because of these 2 facts:

1) Last I left off I asked for her contact info. Thus she KNOWS I am interested in her. Thus I am at the disadvantage – she is winning the game so far. All the cards are (literally and figuratively) on her side of the table. A freezeout would let her know indirectly that I am not head over heels crazy about her – that I can leave at anytime – that I have standards that women would have to meet and I won’t grovel all over them just because they’re “hot”. Sure I like her enough to freak out in a casino I guess that’s a given. I am definitely prepared to fold the hand though if the cards aren’t to my liking.

2) I need to figure out if she likes me or not – how interested is she? Usually when women really like a guy they like to do what I call ‘leak’. Women usually leak more often than men but I’ve found that the behavior is not as gender specific as I’d thought. By leaking I mean the little things women do that make it all too obvious that they’re really interested in someone. The exaggerated body language, the giggles and smiles, the talking to them as if they were a couple language. The all too obvious flirting at times. I hung around many women in college who I knew were attracted to certain people and whenever they were around these people they acted totally different – they were leaking left and right. As if a 6th sense could tell that there was something different going on when they were around these people – attraction – as pook will later say in his book sexuality is the 6th sense (though I still think the 6th should belong to paranormal abilities 🙂 ). In a freezeout the woman will be spewing things left and right at you and vying to get your attention.

So once again the board is set and the pieces are moving. It’s game time! I take a seat at the roulette table and buy in for 10 bucks. It’s just me and her.

So do you know how to play? she asks

(the irony of the above statement wasn’t lost on me) Yeah. Let’s roll I reply as I make my initial starter bet to get around the table minimums – 5 on red and 4 on black! (or vice versa). Sadly there’s a 5% chance of losing it all if it lands on one of the Greens. It’s just my way of getting a history of wheel results to investigate a statistical bias in a certain area of the roulette wheel. Casinos employ this same strategy in their control rooms to close down wheels which are deviating towards one specific zone over a period of time.

Now it’s the moment of truth. By STFU’ing up and not letting my essence get in the way I can finally figure out what kind of person she is purely. Nobody around but us – it’s roulette not a very busy game like cards. Plenty of time for us to talk about whatever. She just looks kinda nonchalant about the whole thing. She hasn’t really said anything to me yet. Chips are dealt out and another round begins. I’m starting to feel the pressure of the awkward silence building up. It’s been a silent couple of minutes now. As I put my chips down on the table for another round of betting I succumb to the pressure. Nope – gotcha – I held my silence for a bit longer though I was really dying inside now. Basically it was like our first encounter when I first met her. She really didn’t say all too much unless you started a conversation with her. One would think I’d find that tiring and unattractive to always have to carry the convo. And to a degree I do but to a degree I also understand fully. You see I’m exactly the same way sometimes. I don’t have anything really pressing to say most of the time so I’ll just not say anything and just engage in whatever everyone else is into at the moment. And somehow this made me a little bit more human in my eyes – someone a bit more real and once again someone I can understand. I just wonder now if this was a natural or a conditioned response. You see when a woman is attractive and works in a high volume customer interaction job EVERY guy will run up to you and blab his heart out and hit on you mercilessly hoping to get mere crumbs of your attention. I thought about this truth intuitively but little did I know how true this would be until later on. To this day though I think inside she is just a bit introverted and job conditioning has only exagerrated the fact.

Anyway those thoughts above didn’t really take that long in my head as long as it took to read them. But eventually I did break and told her about my betting scheme. Call me crazy but I believe you can beat roulette – even though it has bad odds and all. She just thinks about it for a moment then goes in a somewhat passioned tone, “You know in the short term ANYTHING is possible” or something to that effect. I didn’t really think of it too much of it back then but later on I’d come to realize that she was indeed right when I was revising my thoughts about statistics and how they relate to the gambler. I continue playing. Other people come and go – mostly older men – surprisingly none hit on her like the usual norm at the blackjack tables. Eventually it’s just us again – I’m still kinda silent about the whole thing. She finally breaks and asks me if I saw the car show/parade outside. I nod and told her it was blocking my way and then I segued into the story about my brother putting subwoofers and trying to pimp out a Honda CRV. I guess she didn’t find that story too entertaining oh well. Small talk was meant to be small. Except when the speaker think’s it’s actually big 😀

I’m starting to get a little worried now. I wonder if she ever got my comment card but I didn’t want to ask directly. I was thinking she’d bring it up. I also wonder if she remembered that I asked for her contact info in front of a bunch of people at a table. She remembers me but besides the initial excitement at seeing me again she’s been pretty neutral about the entire affair like usual. By this point I’m betting on certain sectors as my analysis dictates but I am winning chips and then slowly losing them again. A double 00 hits as well and I lose 1/3rd my capital on one spin. By this time I decide to cut my losses and leave the table. I tell her I’ll wait for blackjack roulette isn’t really my game :-D. I’ve had 2 or 3 free drinks by this time though and I’m slightly buzzed. Somehow though I don’t really feel for her like I did the first time I met her. I was thinking maybe I was somewhat intoxicated during the July 4th events and that made me like her a bit exaggeratedly. Then again I’m not one of those people prone to seeing everyone as more attractive when buzzed. For me people just seem more approchable and friendlier and I feel a certain oneness with people when I’m under the influence. I chalk up my feelings about her to that and disappointingly move on. I remember wandering the casino thinking, “Welp – I’m free…” meaning free of my attraction to her from July. I start scouting around for some other game targets – nothing good atm. I veg out listening to some bad karaoke for a bit.

Eventually I come back to do some more blackjack. I find reno girl again at a table with 4 other guys college age and sit down with them. As usual all the guys are interested in her etc… I take down the empty center seat and she remarks, “He makes my tables lucky :-)”. You best believe it! I fire back while I tip my cowboy hat in her direction. We’re all playing cards again – seems like the other 4 guys all know each other. I try my semi freezeout again –  I start talking to the sausagefest at the table while only talking to her every so often. I don’t know why I did so I guess I was just curious to see how far I could take it. In retrospect I think I wanted to be the contrasting presence at the table. Four guys all obviously somewhat interested in her and me keeping my distance. Eventually I decide to distance myself again and play some craps at a nearby table. I’m just not feeling it at the moment for some reason.

While I’m shooting dice I can overhear the loud conversations a few tables away where I was just minutes prior. Yeah people are talking with her – reminds me of myself the first time around – just louder more aggressive versions of me. I was starting to accept the truth now that this was the norm for her. Deal at a table – have all the guys be anywhere from mildly interested to obviously interested in you. The convo is continuing – people are connecting – some other guy at the table has a similar school/career track, etc etc… I feel more typical by the second thinking about my first encounter with her. If it weren’t for my frog Rockstar (thats his current alias now) I bet I would’ve been lost in the same sea of men never to be remembered ever again. I remember some other dealers who were fun to talk to from months ago but when I sit down at their tables it’s blatantly obvious they don’t remember me at all. Those who don’t live are prone to remember the times they do I guess. Is life nothing but a few brash events on an endless blanket of trivial distractions? I wander off once again to get free drinks and enjoy the karaoke performances.

Sometime later I come back to reno girl’s table again – its a new table this time. If curiosity killed the cat then my curiousity will render the entire feline genome extinct! I don’t know why I am drawn to play this pattern out but I just feel the inner need to. This new table is made up of 2 brother’s – one bigger one who is a definite high roller player and one more my size who has this most badass billy idolish white hair growth mini goatee underneath the lip. I don’t know why that just screamed fcking badassness right there. I decide to lay off my freezeout though and start acting rational again. I start talking with her but she seems a bit neutralish-bored with me. She seems interested to talking to the big guy a lot more as he was making some really obvious come-ons and talking really loud and excitedly. I try to say a few things but this guy keeps drowning me out. I somehow feel like the freezeout is being reversed on me now – oh – so this is how it feels like lol 😀  Man this sucks : – P  High roller is putting down about 100 – 200$ per hand on his bets. Little bro seems to be doing about 20$. I’m right next to em with my paltry flat minimum bets! High roller mentions something about, “too bad you’re married…”   I look down at reno girl’s hand – yep – there’s a ring there. Why didn’t I catch that before? D’oh! Anyway I am not too fazed by this since I’m kinda over the whole reno girl thing but I can’t help but feel a little disappointed inside for some reason. High roller is losing cash bad – he’s down about 1200$ so he opens up his money purse chock full of 100’s and puts down another 1,000$ in playing capital. There’s a long delay as reno girl checks every single bill and lays them out before calling out the amount and getting confirmation from the pit that exchange took place.

High roller keeps the ball rolling – he mentions something about ages and asks what Reno girl’s age is. She wants us to play guess her age – I find this play kinda odd but we go along with it anyway. We all start putting down our guesses. I think I put down some real lowball estimate like 23 (she looks youngish to me). Some others are like 24 27 etc. She openly reveals her age as 30.

Now before we go on with the story I know what you’re thinking I think. Age is a concept very sacred to women. It is the near equivalent of penis length for men. No woman actively reveals her age just as no man walks down the street and goes como estan btches 8 inches (unless it really is – then all bets are out the window)!!! Usually when someone brags about peen or e-peen size they are lying just as women usually lie about their age if asked. Come on let’s face it – no woman wants to be old – no man wants to have 2 inches of stub luvvin. I have a hard time believing myself that she is 30 and that she would actively reveal she is OLD so quickly! All in all I’m trying to figure out this anomaly in the realm of woman psychology. I can only come up with 1 explanation – a friend of my later comes up with another:

1) I think she is trying to say, “Look at me I’m actually 30 but I look really attractive for my age!”

2) My friend thinks she is trying to say, “I’m 30 I’m old and unattractive now begone from my sight men!”

Time will reveal soon enough that #2 is closer to the truth – but that will have to wait until part 3 of the story (yes there’s more gasp). Anyway on with the story…

After getting the results I decide to reverse the game. This will be interesting. I ask everyone to guess MY age. High roller says 25, Little Bro says 28, Reno girl says 29. I find the results very interesting to say the least. I’m pleased with myself in that Reno girl thinks I am older than what I truly am. Seperates me from the endless sea of horny 22 year old college kids running around all over the place. Let’s face it we all know I’m about 14 in some aspects inside anyway :-). The show goes on they start talking about movies – Reno girl has never seen or heard of Tom Cruise’s Top Gun. As shocked as everyone is at the table I’m kind of happy – she isn’t a big movie or TV person either. I could care less at what someone more popular and richer than me is paid to do. Could care less about a fabricated fantasy. It’s been a while but let’s put in another +10 for compatibility. Now I am somewhat interested in her again – I want to salvage the interaction. I roll in with my “worst night ever” story I ripped from when someone mentions worst parties they’ve ever been to. It’s a shocker – I get everyone engaged and rolling and through the emotional roller coaster. I kinda lose steam after that though and soon enough the dealer’s change again. Reno girl gets swapped with much older but friendly girl. I decide to play out the rest of my chips before taking a break.

Some more time passes and it’s near 2 AM ish so I should start going soon. I tally up my SRR for this Reno craps session 5.4 not bad much better than Vegas. Still under the statistical breakpoint of 6 for average shooters and 7 for known dice controllers. I find Reno girl at a table on the far end of the casino – I decide to visit one last time before leaving. I sit down at the table and she barely acknowledges my presence. Yowch I’m getting the freezeout now. I am feeling somewhat meh with myself for trying that now. I don’t think I’d be trying it again in the future talk about instant karma. I buy in for 21 and this is pretty uneventful. Guy on the far end of the table keeps cracking the exact same joke OVER and OVER and OVER again. With each new shuffle he cheerily goes, “Top O’ the deck to ya!”  I really feel some primal annoyance rising from deep within me at this point. I try talking to her but she doesn’t seem to be all tuned in anyway. She seems more amused sadly at Mr. repetitive on the other end of the table. I take this as a sign that she is using my freezeout on me. Not one to be one-upped I decide to cash in my chips and leave the table soon enough.

I look over at the table next to her’s – I scope 3 hot college ageish girls at the table with 2 other guys flanking them from behind watching. There’s an empty seat on the far end. I decide to go for the set. I remember one of Mystery’s quotes in “Secrets of The Game…” something like win the men over and you will win the women over. I go up to one of the guys flanking the set and ask, “is this table good?”  The man disappointingly shakes his head and goes “No.”  I take that as a sign that this may be a bad set and move on. After all it’s all too obvious you’re interested in the women if you just take the seat regardless. I guess I could’ve come up with some snappy remark like so and take a seat but that would be corny. I also overheard the men talking to themselves and laughing as I leave so maybe they caught wind that it was my ploy to enter their realm. Was probably just the cowboy hat though – maybe the fact I may not have been the first guy to try and enter that set.

Eventually I leave and I drive home the next day getting some chinese food before going home. I feel kinda bad for some reason – the fog rolling in excaberates it in contrast to the Reno sun. The very next day I remember being at the McDonalds’ drive thru getting a Chicken McNugget mini meal. I feel somewhat sick inside and disappointed at what I did. I really think I took the wrong route with my freezeout. Me trying to be all slick and implicit like how women work and look where it gets me. Things were so much better the first time around when we connected and look at how much I can fck things up! It’s a repeating pattern in my life as well I seem to be good at ruining things. I spend the next few days surfing Steve Pavlina and related personal development sites once again in search for answers. I take some solace in Steve Pavlina’s Subjective Relationships article. I take responsibility for my actions and the reality I create for myself if it’s indeed all subjective. It was my curiosity and inner desire to see things play out the way they did.

At this point in the story I resign myself to the fact that we may not be going back to Reno for a long time since the next few weekends are event filled. Winter will be coming in soon as well so we may be going down to Vegas instead. I really left on a bad note. Yeah she may be married and all that but we’re still compatible and I failed to really push that fact at all to see if we are indeed more alike or different. At the very least we would probably be good friends. Even just acquaintances would’ve been better than just totally snubbing her off like that. And that wedding ring could be a lie just to keep away the hordes of horny bastards at the casino each night. I just don’t like ruining the open ended branch of possibility whatever it may be. In the long run there is always a reason why things like this happen I guess. In this case it’s a call to stop being scared and follow your heart through the unknown. This will be the underlying theme for Part 3 and things do start looking up again from this point!

I thought we wouldn’t be coming back to Reno for a while and she’d forget about me since I was such a hole but no one ever really knows what’s around the corner.

A year has passed – another cycle over
September 7, 2010, 7:00 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Things have changed – about a year has passed since I opened this blog – things are wrapping up.

It makes me wonder how little some things change and how much other things do. For example craving a personal pan pizza from Pizza Hut – last time I had one was early Jan-Feb 2010. That’s only been 7 months – not that long of a time. On the other hand looking at my where my life was 14 months ago it has almost come just about full circle as of today. It’s amazing also how some small decisions and small actions can cause a cascading waterfall of changes a year from the event. Like the intention –> decision to partake in the real world again. Just thinking to myself if I never took the initiative to make a concrete decision where would I be today? Scary to think I’d be stuck in the same rut. Looking at the world from the outside in.

Some highlights of the year:

A few months ago I stumbled upon after looking up more obscure Steve Pavlina personal development stuff. Once I was there I stumbled upon his interview with Steve and Erin and eventually his dating book make her chase you. I was over all that .pdf pickup women stuff 6 years ago after I realized that being a better person with strong definition (mostly personality but physical helps) will naturally get you all the women. From that I stumbled onto his “How I became a pickup artist” article and from there I was entranced with his descriptions of life in the hollywood hills with women every day. From that I moved on to reading the entirety of both Neil Strauss’  Pick up artist book and the followup chronicles. I believe regardless of the content and outcome of many of the stories that both of Neil’s works are consciousness raising masterpieces! I’d put them on my required reading list for self improvement if you’re a male. They made me think about things a lot of men pass under the radar such as presentation, how you dress, what women read between the lines, being a better communicator and more fun/sociable person, etc…  Core qualities that go beyond the game and into improving your life as a whole. I started trying out the things I read on other people just to gauge if they really did work – they did. From here though I know I couldn’t keep up a charade forever so I tried to integrate the things that would mesh with me in my own life. I wanted to find the juncture between the game and waking reality. Myriad Success and failures with trying out the material eventually made me google up the “Book of Pook” which would be the end-all last word of everything regarding the topic of men attracting women. I never had the feeling about a book that seemed to resonate with pure truth since I read Ami Child of the Stars and The Aquarian Gospel of Jesus Christ back in my head in the clouds phase. Pook describes how his exploration of the male nature closed the book on lay reports. If that is so then my assimilation of Pook’s book closed the book for me on women. Women are just that – women – not some magical pathway to ascension and exaltation/completeness as most men believe. I knew this before but a part of me still believed it so until now. Experience has also shown me what happens when we come full circle – the truth of success. On a bigger note another one of pook’s amorphisms describes education as man’s armory against nature – the weapons used against the battle to tame the wilds to make them habitable. If that is so then my exploration of new age material and self development are the top secret weapons and techniques of almost occultish power that can serve to bend the very nature of reality itself. Big problems require big solutions I guess. Only now we see the biggest problems are not of this world but that which arise from one’s nature and mental processes. The beliefs as Steve Pavlina writes about that constrain our reality to the stable form it’s in now. By shattering our beliefs we open the possibility of possibilities beyond our imagination. Thinking back downwards now though there have been some other advances this year…

Earlier this year I’ve opened and closed the book on lego engineering and moldmaking – very handy skills to have in case I ever decide to tackle the world of materials again. I also learned rudimentary miniature painting and connected with my long idle artistic side. I learned how to play Craps during the winter which has made it my new all time favorite casino game (as long as they let me set the dice we’re cool – I’ve gotten a LOT faster at it anyway). I’ve also looked into gambling optimal strategy and analysis for most of the games I play. These keep the free drinks going on longer while minimizing my losses to at most 100$ per entire trip or even winning 30+$ while having a great time. Also a great way (at least for me) to meet people as I’ll be in the game longer than most. I swear if everyone gambled like I did there woudln’t be anymore casinos anywhere. This is what you get casinos for being a false gamble! I’ve said it before – it’s not gambling if the house always wins eventually – it’s extortion. I will be the force of karma that bites at your heels to make sure a gamble is still true to it’s nature – the possibility of both victory and defeat.

I’d like to say I’m officially strong again – on the upswing. With this strength though comes confusion as I no longer know what really inspires me and makes me excited. Everything I try dead ends fairly quickly so I wonder if I’m just not looking hard enough or if I’ve developed my consciousness to the point in which this world can no longer satisfy me with it’s temporary pleasures and never ending dramas. I feel as if I’ve grown to know the world for what it is – a big fat lie. Our true happiness, satisfaction, and peace maybe do lie within where we yearn nothing cause we are already everything. I feel as if I can see thru the charade – see thru the movies, the concerts, the entertainment, the games, the TV, the distractions, the flashing lights, the blaring sounds, etc.. to see they only serve to distract us until we get tired of them. Nothing gets me up anymore – and if it does I don’t last very long. Maybe it’s that I don’t dream big enough anymore. I ask people what their big dreams are. Big dreams can get me excited only because of the boldness, challenge, and the possibilities of exploring a totally new frontier. Maybe that’s why I’ve always had a knack for creating stuff and invention (a topic covered next paragraph).

Also with changes comes odd passing thoughts. Burning man just occured this weekend during labor day. I’ve had a sudden curiosity about burning man. I started reading Mark Atwood’s things to know about burning man (link). His description of the solar powered cell phone network got me thinking.  Solar powered cell phone open source cell phone network thingamajig. Thinking about Solar power applications in general. Sustainability – making a sustainable empire out of mud and rock. Man’s role in conquering the environment. Just like the concept of Vegas can we turn the primal elements of Sun and Dirt into paradise? I had solar ambitions during my lego machine phase earlier this year – these urges to research are starting to recur. Unfortunately it is almost winter but certain lights can still simulate solar power. If I act now we’ve been having some late summer scorch days lately. Maybe due to local climate I should look into wind power or fog power (h20 fuel cells).

In short I feel like once again I am becoming another person so things will be changing around here. Life has a certain ebb and flow and it works best when you ride with the tide instead of trying to create resistance and dam it up. Maybe all currents do lead home and it’s only our own limited beliefs and bigotries which take us off course from the flow of life.

Oh and what ever happened to that girl I wrote about in echoes of the game? There’s more to the story coming up in my next blog posts!