The 3rd Dimension – So little to say and so much time!!!


Wine Into Grapes, Grapes Into Wine
September 29, 2010, 7:00 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Wine Into Grapes, Grapes Into Wine

A treatise on why pick up lines, openers, and other such artificial constructs for meeting quality women never work

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Setting: Reno – Some evening in September

Time: Too late to give a damn

I had been standing at the craps table for almost an hour now. I wanted a drink but I just didn’t want any old drink, I wanted a Dr Pepper. But hell I just didn’t want -any- Dr Pepper – I wanted an Alcoholic Dr Pepper! If you thought I were done there – NOPE – I won’t settle for just a plain old Alcoholic Dr Pepper – I want an Alcoholic Dr Pepper that does not taste like total bullsh*t! There I said it. Satisfied with my angsty mental gymnastics I see a cocktail waitress quickly  make her way up the crowd from the opposite end of the Craps table. This entire night I’ve tried Dr Pepper mixed with gin, vodka, jagermeister, etc and they’ve all tasted like total bs to me. What a life. Dr Pepper may be as it claims – it’s too unique a drink to be compatible with anything. Hey sounds like someone I know 😛  Makes me wonder why I like the stuff so much. Anyway at least in the casinos I can have the house mix up whatever gd combination of fluids I want without paying anything except tip. Casinos are my lab for concocting new bizzare drink creations.

Anyway she’s coming up the aisle near me now. I’ll ask her if she knows anything that mixes well with Dr. Pepper. Given her job she’s probably had to bring out just about everything so she’d probably know what people have tried. The 2 people playing in front of me in our staggered line formation at the craps table did not bother asking for drinks. Now she’s in range. I’m parched and it’s finally time to get my drink. I watch her barely pass 1 step into my personal space before I quickly and almost desperately blurt out, “excuse me!”

She turns around with her circle tray full of drinks and a pen all whipped out already about to take down my order. I look at her for a second just as I am about to ask my question and my heart skips a beat right as she completes her turn and faces me. Nicely figured girl a bit shorter than me with medium length black hair and a cute face. Age about mine but probably 2-3 years younger from my assessment. She just exudes that really feminine energy I am attracted to. My mind thinks out loud in that gap between measurable time, “My – you’re kinda cute!”. I quickly shake off the sentiment though as I had a much more important mission in mind.

(I am the “” convos,   she is the “” convos with >> preceding them)

“Hi are you a big drinker by any chance?”

>> “No I don’t drink.”

My mind gawks at the utter irony of this scene – a non drinking cocktail waitress. At the same time though my mind also scribbles a mental note. +5 compatibility. I only drink socially and sparsely at that. Anyway…

“I’ve been looking for something that mixes well with Dr Pepper – would you know such a thing?”

>> “Hmmm not really…”

She then goes on about something which I don’t remember. We talk for a bit regardless of the fact that some asshat 5 feet away is probably gonna murder me for holding up the flow of free liquor. Finally I just ask for one of my usual mainstay drinks and have her begone. Our eyes lock for a moment on her way out before her busy job gets ahold of her once again. In that moment I felt something communicated in that quick glance. That I’m not just another horny drunk rude casino patron in her eyes anymore. That I’m a real human being. That she might like me. That I’m in.

What has always bothered me about the pickup community in general is their blind adherence to formulas, patterns, openers, and other such foolproof logical flowcharts when dealing with women in order to “get in”. Even the great Mystery’s treatise on snagging women is nothing but a flowchart gone mad for 200 somewhat odd pages. One would think that after browsing through that manual I could program a computer to pick up women for me! It was that logically written – it covered every possible situation and what you should do (well not every but the intent was there in the book). It was as if the art of meeting women could be distilled into a series of logical steps that would produce consistent results.

I can’t bash the process too much because this is how I got started as well. As a conscious human being though I quickly saw through the games and realized that this was just a sales pitch. Consistent, repetitive, and evolved to bring out the best results again and again. I hate sales and salespeople in general – passionately. I always think if something was really that great it would sell itself on it’s own merit without some nervous pimply faced 16 year old kid trying to hawk it at you from the in mall booths of every major mall in America. It was exactly that approach all “pick up women”-esque types were teaching. To be that annoying immature kid getting in people’s way right as they’re trying to walk by and going, “Hey what do you think of your phone service?” Each teacher would just try to dress up their annoyance (aka material/openers) differently but in essence it was all the same. All sales pitches aimed at scoring as many women as possible. Woman hates you? Sell your pitch to the next nearest woman 10 feet away! The entire process disgusts me to the core as it is – dehumanizing. You are basically selling out. You are removing all definition and sense of yourself to follow this script which presents you as someone you are not in hopes of scoring some ass later that night. And it works – if you like easy low quality women no one else wants. In fact it’s what those sales pitchers deserve – it’s fitting for such a gross violation of nature’s law.

What got me thinking when I wrote my above story is this. If I had continued this story with “oh yeah we talked later that night, I ran x y z routines, she did a b and c indicators of interest, I succesfully phase shifted and had her go through e,f,g we came back to my hotel room and I screwed her silly” then some random kid on the internet would see my story and then go.

Aha! Genius! I gotta try that OPENER. Now you have poor immature undefined kid go up to the next girl and go, “Hi, sorry to bother you, but I’ve been looking for something that mixes well with Dr Pepper. Would you know such a thing?” He’d try it 100 times and get lucky a few times. He’d post his “lay report” up and the fibonnaci-esque distribution of my opener would continue. Soon you’d get 1000’s of guys all over the US trying the same “pick-up line” on the next woman that passes by with variations. “Hi, you look like a pretty fun person, Do you drink Dr Pepper? I was wondering if you knew someth….” etc… It would continue until the women would get sick of it. Kind of like how it happened on Sunset Strip with Neil Strauss’ opinion openers. “What’s with all these guys asking us the same thing?” they’d wonder to themselves. Then the pickup line would become too popular, get old, wouldn’t work anymore, and kid just goes on the internet to find a new sales pitch to try. Thus the cycle continues until one breaks out of it…

When I read Pook’s writings on placing the focus on you in The Book of Pook I had a vague idea of what he was trying to get at. It was what I had been advocating for almost 3 years now – the concept of definition – of defining who you are as unique. My old blog had a little rant on this concept of definition in regards to it being the core ingredient in defining one’s life and reality – one’s world if you will. I didn’t realize such a grand concept could be applied to the benign world of meeting women. The power to meet, connect, and advance relationships with the opposite gender did not come from studying pickup, movies, openers body language, communication, psychology, PDF’s on meeting women, etc… It came from being who you are. It came from defining yourself as a person and going all in on that. It was about being yourself, unique, and creating your own world. The basis of “personality” was that which defines a unique person. What seperates you from the inseperable boring masses? That is your personality, your definition, your world, your being, your power to snag women, your power to define your life, your keys to happiness. It only all made sense now. It also explained why people who were good with women would extend that goodness to the rest of their lives like careers. My intellectual mind knew of this for a while but it was only now that it sunk into the heart. It was only now when intelligence transmuted itself to wisdom.

Expanding on this notion of “being who you are” I never got this Dr Pepper “opener” from the internet. It came from -me-. It came from what -I- want. It came from -my- world where I think Dr Pepper should still be made with real sugar beyond 2010. The best pick up lines and openers come from you. You can only generate these gems naturally by developing yourself. All the best pick up lines and openers on the internet were derived from some man being himself and pursuing what he loves. All the naturals out there who’ve always snagged women without even thinking about it with the infinite number of openers they can generate – their secret is this. They are defined. They are grapes that can produce all manner of fine wines.

I now realized what was wrong with today’s men. Everyone was trying to turn wine into grapes. But we all know that is an impossible feat. We can only turn grapes into wine. Grapes being the essence of manliness. Wine being the results of manliness i.e. pick up lines, openers, transitions,  etc… There are no more men left – no more models to emulate – no more knowledge of what a grape is. Pook covers this concept in his – well – entire book! We no longer know what makes a man – we only know of it’s effects. We no longer know how grapes are made we only taste the wine. The wine also being things like “alpha male body language, “cocky and funny”, “not needy”, “decisive”, “not attached to outcomes”, etc… We have an idea of how men are supposed to act like to attract women but we’ve lost the grapes – the source – of how these actions come about. Only by remembering what we’ve forgotten – how a grape really is – can we hope to once again create wine without needing to look on the internet at other people’s recipes. For each one of us makes his own wine which has it’s own distinct flavor. It is this variety and depth of wine that attracts women. It is that one special variant; that one special something the significant other is looking for in you – the one only you can provide.

Let’s stop trying to turn wine into grapes and start turning grapes into wine.

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