The 3rd Dimension – So little to say and so much time!!!

At peace…
September 6, 2012, 8:46 pm
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Nothing more to say and do here. I’ve answered my own questions on my experiential journey. For one – I don’t think about women anymore because I’ve never fallen in love – just fallen in sex. I don’t believe most notions of romantic love exist – they are just the body’s innate mechanism to get the human race to propagate itself. When man is no longer beast – defined / driven solely by the bodily impulses – a new kind of consciousness emerges, a soul. It’s true – I don’t love anything – or more specifically – have never experienced what true love may be like hence I won’t say anymore about it. If one cannot be with another person solely because the sexual makeup isn’t to one’s liking or the sexually motivated propositions are rejected then one is not in love – one is in sex. All of that pickup, casinos, musings on the past – all a game on the board of life. I’ve said it before but maybe it deserves it’s own acknowledgement again – game over. I will still do these things but I will no longer be defined by them – they will just exist just as your clothes exist but don’t fundamentally define you. They are garments which change as your consciousness sees fit – ever changing and attuned with the flux of life.

All that other stuff I’ve done the various hobbies – they round me out as a person – they make me interesting – they serve as a tracer of what I’ve done but in the same vein that a man’s footsteps don’t define the man in the present these things I’ve done were things I’ve wanted to experience to only pass thru them forevermore. They are tools I draw from to create my reality – the paint an artist chooses from give color and life to the work. Behind the masterpiece itself though lies it’s spirit – it’s essence – that which unifies all of the other pieces together. What exactly do we mean when we say a work of art has soul? That music has soul? That someone may be soulless? It seems to hint at an underlying essence that underlies all things – the one physicists spend their lives looking for – that one unifying factor to explain everything.

I’ve dabbled into a lot of bizzare things – many too nameless and thoughtless to count – only to weave them layer after layer ever so tightly to create myself. I only found myself now as that piece which underlies all the others. I once had a question that many people have probably asked before, “how much of the body can you destroy before you are no longer human?” If one loses a leg or arm in an unfortunate tragedy most would agree they are still human. Some have lost even more and still we say they are human. What if one lost their heart and got a transplant – are they still the same person? What if one gets new blood to replace the old? There are reports of personality changes from transplants – are we the personality or are we that which underlies it? What if one is frozen for decades and returned to us – are they still the same? I can’t answer these questions but in any and all cases I only know whether I am in touch with my own inner soul self or just a mindless automaton beast of a man who merely reacts to stimuli like a caged beast.

Anyway it’s all over here and for now I’ve jumped into Tynan community forums. This place will merely exist like my last blog – to chronicle where I’ve been and what I’ve been through to help me fully understand the gift of self.

Note to myself: Sex isn’t everything!
August 15, 2012, 6:56 pm
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Sex – so romanticized sexualized sensationalized glorified and after all that pomp and show and all that building up you have it and then all of it is instantly taken away. It’s about the journey not the destination. So you have sex and what then? You’ll probably see the same girl over and over again every time you wake up ad nauseum for the next few days/months/weeks/years/etc… What was once eroticized and sensationalized is now boring. Even gourmet food gets boring if you eat the same thing every single day…

So what’s next then? Sex isn’t everything. Maybe it’s about joy and wonder. Happiness and peace. Maybe it is about the journey not the destination. To pick up and leave it all again to try somewhere new. To adventure once again and feel the joys and pains of life. I concentrate so much on getting there that I fail to realize once I get what I want I no longer feel the same way about it anymore.

Look at long range goals – look at what truly lasts – what truly matters…

Note to myself: Sex!
August 14, 2012, 9:45 pm
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In case I ever forget due to a lapse of memory let it be written here and not forgotten for all time. The master key to all relationships with women boils down to one thing:

Sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex

Forget pickup, forget techniques

sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex

Forget long winded theories on the evolution of the alpha/beta male and the female desire for dominance

sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex

Forget stories, forget opening groups, forget rapport

sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex

Forget long nights on the computer contemplating the nature of

sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex

All relationships are based on sex as all aspects of attraction are sexually based. You are looking for a partner but just not any girl will do. You want the attractive one… She wants the attractive one too, and the one usually is full of…

sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex

Forget about being friends with her first. It will get you nowhere. The REAL key to her HEART lies in

sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex

What does she really want in a relationship? Friendship? Companionship? If so she’ll ask you to let’s just be friends. You betray her true desire though… More importantly, you betray YOURS

sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex

What goes straight to a woman’s heart? There are the long paths like friendship and great personality but they won’t create that intense burning attraction that leads to “love”. You can’t make a woman fall in love with you without

sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex

(Let it be known though that for the above you don’t need to have PHYSICAL sex, you just need to be a SEXUAL being. SEXUAL being meaning accepting and celebrating your sexuality – not trying to hide from it or disguise it in any manner. Being comfortable in your own skin in all manners of sex physical/mental/emotional etc….)

Why do women always say in jest, _____ is having my babies?!?! How are babies formed???

sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex

Sex is not dirty. Sex is not unique only to the male gender. Women want sex too (maybe even more than men do) Suppression and demonization of sexuality is the great sin of our era. Consciousness/Families/Societies all destroyed due to the misinterpretation of

sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex

An attack on sex is an attack on our humanity – how do you think we all got here in the first place?

sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex

Denying sex is denying the TRUTH. Denial of truth leads to SUFFERING. If Jesus once said that we will know the evil ones by their actions then it is obvious the true demons are any and all who attack the basis of

sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex

From my experience a good personality is not enough – to make a relationship work you need

sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex

What is male sexuality? Looks, muscles, masculinity, dominance, confidence,

sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex

What is female sexuality? I can’t say for sure but it’s mostly looks and femininity from my point of view. The alchemy of those two forces results in

sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex

Looks DO matter, in fact, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, looks are a PRE-REQUISITE to having

sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex

Your intelligence, personality, wit will NOT count for anything at all unless you satisfy the first and basal desire for

sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex

It is my belief it is not the look itself but the OPTIMIZATION of said looks. I’d wager woman would pick a guy who was born ugly but worked on their body over a guy who was born handsome and just let himself go. Optimization of looks leads to

sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex

Sex is the tension of polarity between the male and female forces. Thus feminine men and masculine women are not considered sexy. If genders are the poles then sex is the rubber band that tenses between them. The more polarized the genders the more

sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex

You CANNOT seperate SEX from a relationship. All relationships have some implicit sexual basis to them. If not then you might have found TRUE PURE LOVE. Otherwise you run under the law of

sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex

Sexuality is just not

sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex

Sexuality is the tension of said sex – just not the action of f*cking. America as Pook described used to be much more SEXUALIZED back in the 20’s. The dancing and performances especially on 20’s film – so exact – so evocative – so full of passion – so full of – what is the secret ingredient?

sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex

What is the wellspring of inspiration and intelligence as Napoleon Hill postulated in “Think and Grow Rich?”

sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex

What brightens the day more than any other thing. When you walk down the street and see someone attractive and suddenly the shittiest day reverses itself due to the sheer magnetic force of

sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex

Empires have risen and fallen over women. Did these men fawn over their companionship? Probably not. They went mad over

sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex

Most of what underlies human motivation is

sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex

Only through mastery of


can we evolve to become higher spiritual beings.

Retiring again for now / The War in Heaven
June 8, 2012, 9:40 pm
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It’s been almost a year since I’ve talked to myself :P. Time to lay it down for now.

The War in Heaven rages on regardless – the fight between mind and body – flesh and spirit – desire and reality – the Aquarian Gospel of Jesus Christ probably sums it up best…

11) Lamaas said,
You answer well; now, what is man?
12) And Jesus said,
Man is the truth and falsehood strangely mixed.
13) Man is the Breath made flesh; so truth and falsehood are conjoined in him; and they strive, and naught goes down and man as truth abides.

Save no one get the wrong idea I am not a religious person but a truth/spiritual one.  Being raised in that whole catholic framework though I am most knowledgable about that aspect so I tend to draw from it the most. I will not hesitate to use every tool in the toolbox though and will not hesitate to criticize that I find lacking or misguided in the concept of religion itself. I like to think my early religious indoctrination just helps me make better jokes :-P.

The end of an era
September 27, 2011, 7:00 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

A crap-py existence

The words swirl and echo together in my mind – the voices of those who’ve put their faith in my hands – almost hauntingly they play back in random order again and again:

Common shooter!


No pressure shooter, but let me see a 6!


Hey shooter I like your style… I’ll bet with you.

Parlay?!?!   PARLAY?!?…… I like this guy – he’s out to make some money – Parlay my bet too!

Haha – waterfall huh?

Ohhhh baby ::dice being set:: yeaaah that’s it ::2nd dice being set:: ohhh yeaaah baby feels good ooHhHhhHhh

If you make another number I’ll yodel!

Hmm…. Interesting….

Awwww I was about to bet big!

A -MONSTER- roll…

Over here shooter! Here!  We have a spot for you…


Good work shooter

I set for hard 8 and lob the dice and hit the triangles again on their downward descent. The dice feel weak and malleable. They don’t bounce much. They surprisingly twist a few times once hitting the ground and end up on: Hard 8!

::craps stickman taps the stick in front of me::  200 for shooter!   (starting from a 2$ hard 8 parlayed to 20$ and hit again)

The dealer looks at my chipstack – I already have a crapload of 5’s and 25’s from my earlier points made streak parlayed. He scoops up 4 green and a black and brings it over:

[ You have earned achievement: Earn a 100$ Chip in Craps ]

Getting that next achieve for the 500$ chip will be a tough cookie 🙂

I eventually leave that table with 470$ (peak 610$) starting from a 10$ pass line bet with 10$ odds. The first and last roll on that table. Thanks Bellagio <3. Probably hit 5+ points in a row along with the hardway.

I come upstairs again after gambling in reno – I won 110$ at the craps table

I come upstairs a subsequent night in reno – I won 90$ at the craps table. I feel unstoppable.

I set for 7’s and lob the dice onto the end of the table. The table has been showing A LOT of crap numbers lately (2,3,12). The dice may be biased or some statistical correction is going on but…


I go berserk in my little section of the craps table. My starting 1$ initial capital Any Craps parlay on the come out has netted me 280$ after hitting 3 crap numbers in a row on the come outs – my biggest singular one event peak win yet. Thanks Boomtown – maybe we can do this again eh?

I am tired from the drive over. I  seven out on 4 or 5 rolls on the very first roll. I am having a horrible streak. I realize later at night that my performance was probably due to not being able to concentrate despite the fact I was awake. There’s a difference between merely being awake and being awake and focused. I’m down 150$ so I write down all the ways I’ve missed the mark and try again the next morning….

Morning comes I feel rested and focused. I roll 43 in a row before sevening out for 4 points made. Follow it up with 6 in a row for 1 point. Then 26 in a row for 3 points. 22 in a row for 4 points. 7 in a row for 1 point. 6 in a row for 1 point. 16 in a row for 2 points. 4 in a row for 1 point. 13 in a row for 1 point. In my 9 times as shooter I never fail to make at least 1 point. Due to anti-martingale I eventually leave this marathon 4 hour session 100$ down. Would’ve been 90$ up if I flat betted but at 2 distinct times with the 4 pointers I was 1 roll away from making 250$+ starting with just 10$. I need these big wins to make up for my blackjack bad luck streak.

I think I’m done with gambling. Lost 500$+ over 2 trips in a one month period. Maybe it will swing back up but all my simulations say it is fraught with risk with the most likely outcome being more loss. I’ve had terrible luck with blackjack as well (despite my near flawless basic strategy) and despite my vastly improved craps rolling compared to when I’ve started I’ve yet to make a huge amount of money. Extreme simulation and studying of the game and it’s trends with computerized tools has shown that in the short run random is truly random and anything is possible.

Yeah I’ve pretty much stopped getting casino gear and poker chips and the like as well. I am satisfied with what I got now and have no plans to progress beyond this point in that direction. My casino is fully stocked and ready to rumble with no other material needed.

Update October 2nd, 2011: At this time 5:45pm last week I made my final steps away from the casino. I tried to take in every little detail about the lights and sounds and environment as I slowly made my way out. Once I pushed out the door I felt my heart sink a little and I took one final look back. I tried to freeze the image in my memory and silently let out an energetic goodbye. I know that I’ll probably be back in the future but things won’t ever be the same. It is truly the end of an era.

You believe the lies…

Almost every guy on the planet shows EXCESSIVE attention to a women. This goes on day after day, year after year. Women are bored with it. They’ve heard the compliments a million times. You believe a myth. You believe a women doesn’t get enough attention. You believe she’s starved for attention. This is not so. Every day some guy is asking her to “get together some time”. Every day some guy is asking for the number. Every day some guy is telling her how beautiful she is.  –Anti-Dump

I no longer feel the need to play ‘the game’ with women. Experience has shown you can’t fit a round peg in a square hole. I am sticking to fundamentals and finding the real deal instead of trying to compromise and seeing how much of what I don’t want I can accept.

It is truly the end of an era.

Now the bigger question is – was it about time?

Hey It’s Reno Girl Conclusion – The Big Show
August 2, 2011, 7:00 am
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………. I Rested for 10 minutes tired from the grand hotel tribute tour about to go out into the chaos again. Didn’t want a repeat of Vegas where I spent a lot of time vegging out. Vegging out happens but I wanted to have more of a conscious stake regarding the vegging. Legs are tired and I feel worn out – drank a cup of a 2L of coke lying around from yesterday. The view outside of reno is dramatic – it faces towards the north mountains and the sun is perfectly high in the sky to create a perfect backdrop. It had the color palette that reminded me of world scenes from the movie ‘300’.

Right when I’m about to head out the door I get a call – they said they were gonna eat soon – looks like it’s true. I go down to Art Gecko’s in Circus Circus. Everyone is there and we gather more people up – enough to take down 2 tables. Others in the group check out the ‘Deadliest Catch’ promotional crab feast for this Friday – rest of us are here lounging in Gecko’s. We ask for a menu then subsequently ask for a sushi menu. The sushi is fresh and good – I get a share of ribs, pizza, and other sushi types as well from others. I take my final sip of Mountain Dew as the check comes and I know it’s now time.  Time for the big show.


Finally some resolution to our psuedo-epic tale!

See the previous parts of the story…


Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Since the events in part 3 I’ve made small trips to Reno every so often but less frequently. I’ve gotten to know more of the people there and it seemed like there were many more players involved than I had accounted for. Every time I went there was someone new and attractive.  Anyway I’ve chatted it up and applied more of what I learned. I used this period to really test the truthfulness and boundaries regarding all I had read in the pickup books and book of pook and self improvement books et al. I found I was becoming more of my own man and found myself depending less and less on the word as my intuition and wisdom improved. I used to carry around e-book versions of just about everything on flash drive and would read relevant excerpts I needed to hear again before going out for the night. Now it was finally sinking in – knowledge transmuting itself into wisdom. As I learned how to walk on my own I found myself throwing away the crutches. No more flash drives, no more pre night plans, no more post night analyses – they were no longer needed – I was slowly becoming a child of nature once again.

With each trip I would look back at how far I’d come months beforehand and saw I was steadily improving. I was able to make better conversations, integrate into groups of people more fluidly,  gain the trust of others quicker, etc… One night I was able to connect more intimately with no less than 4 women and after that experience I realized the true importance of volume. One cannot make accurate judgments on a small sample set – only by expanding the sample set larger and larger can one gain a full depth and appreciation of the possible variance in human personalities. I wasn’t really feeling it for any of them but the experience helped me hone in what was possible and what was not. It also made me aim higher than I was previously due to the fact that I now knew I was shortchanging myself with these people.

As time wore on my perspectives started to become more finely tuned as well. As a dreamer and visionary I’ve always had a hard time seeing what is actually there vs. what I want to see. I honestly believe strong visions are a good thing but in their negative polarity they may lead to unneeded suffering and delusions. I’ve found with practice though that I started to value these women less and less and value myself closer to what may be my actual worth. I was warming up to the fact that I was kind of washing out despite how great of a person I thought I was. I was also warming up to the fact that these women may not be nearly as high as I’ve placed them on my scale of divinity months before. I became less interested in finding a mate and much more interested in friendship and just having fun. Usually when one meets someone new it’s the opposite – you start developing feelings and get closer with time. In this case I just found myself drifting away further and further. Also I didn’t know whether these people genuinely liked me or if they just liked my money or their jobs. I needed some way to cut through the jazz. I think I would have just the tool…

On another visit I received tons and tons of mixed signals. Women are highly adept at creating endless games of drama to misdirect, confuse, and annoy hapless men caught in the vicinity. After coming back home from all that chaos I was at a total analytical loss on which way the world turned. I needed to break the glass and try out another anti-dump advocated tool – number (asking for their number) or kino (touching them). I read somewhere (though I can’t seem to find the exact quotation) that regardless of how things are going there are 2 things women cannot lie about – number or kino. A woman will play endless games with you to use you or to enrich her own ego or just to not make you feel bad etc etc… You will never know the final truth about a woman though until you engage in kino or number. That they cannot lie about. Their faces and expressions won’t lie when you touch them or look into their eyes and ask for their number. This is how you know where you stand. The ultimate harbinger of truth.

So while I was logged into WoW I had my game plan prepared – next visit – NUMBER OR KINO – and we will get the final verdict on what the deal is and close this story for good. No more lies no more drama no more getting in women’s heads no more bs. Especially when there are multiple players invovled – who is on my side? who isn’t? who’s the friend? who’s the foe? who’s along for the ride?! It was time to unlock the final fragment.  So it was planned – and the plan was deemed good – and the plan would be put into action the next visit around. And so it came…

But before we get into that maybe I should mention one more thing. One more thing about the use of poetic license. All this time I’ve weaved the story around one particular girl but what if I told you that was all a sham? What if I told you I was actually in it for someone else? What if I told you everything I told you up to now was only the partial truth? That I had been misleading you for your own sake – to keep you entertained – are you not entertained? Is sensationalism a substitute for truth? Or is truth infinitely more sensational as is? You be the judge…

Once more into the fold

Let us for once visit a space in time – or more accurately a space in space. People always tell you to ‘read between the lines’ and ‘the devil is in the details’. Maybe they are right. From our first story comes the following 2 lines:

Anyway I finally make it to my favorite casino. Time to get on with the story

<<< the space in space >>>       <— let us visit this area

I was in Reno July 4th weekend and I met this girl.

So here it goes. I was walking around with my plush pal secured on my shoulder looking for good gaming targets. I scanned the room and made mental notes like any astute student of the game would Zzzz. And then I see her. (and this her is NOT reno girl : – O ) I’m not sure what it was about her – the perky breasts – the hair – the face the figure the energetic tension that seemed to lie dormant within her I don’t know. To pine on a mystery more enigmatic than woman is to ponder the nature of attraction itself. Sure people have tried but it doesn’t account for all those ‘non-classical’ cases. Well fortunately I think this one was classical so didn’t spend too much time on it. Neil’s 3 second rule was ticking down so I had to act – well she didn’t see me yet – but it was best not to let it run into overtime. There was just one problem – the table she was dealing at was full – chock full. Well great – there goes my leverage.

What to do what to do… I need to create an observation point and vye my time and act once a seat opens back up. So I choose a table directly behind and opposite my target that I will use as my scouting post. I will just need to thread blackjack water here for a while until an opportunity pops up. I non-chalantly go to make my initial buy in for the table as always and that is when I finally looked up at whatever dealer just happened to be dealing at this random table. My mind paused for a second like that time with the Dr. Pepper’s  –   ‘my your kinda cute’  rolled through the brain’s censors and then quickly discarded it since I was yet again on a mission. This is how I first met reno girl.

At this point though is not where part 1 begins again. I end up seeing reno girl later alone waiting for players and this is how I end up getting into part 1. For now I am just playing a breakeven game waiting for a spot across the room to open up. Reno girl makes an unremarkable comment about my plush friend and I just casually answer and smile. A few minutes pass and I’m winning a small amount of cash – a fairly lucky threading run. By the time a seat opens up in my target table I’m maybe like 25$ up or so. I cash out and cheerily take my chips off the table quickly – see ya later! I rush over to the real target table and quickly take my seat.

I quickly grab the remaining seat and settle down with my plushie. My target girl seems really smitten with my peacocking item right away (we’ll call her target girl for the rest of this story). In my head echos ‘well my, this is a good thing’. At least I now have some insurance against my non-commanding social skills. I make no amends to check out her body in short order. I’m not sure how obvious I was but apparently another older 6-7 rank girl with a bf/bro/orbiter sitting next to me notices (we’ll call this one snoopy chick/snoopy). Snoopy chick whispers something to her bf/orbiter whatever about me wanting to sit here just so that I can talk to my target girl. Well oh crap a god or Q-like star trek entity has entered the building. So perceptive and intuitive the older ones of their species are – women. I think snoopy even catches wind of the fact that I caught wind of the fact. How do you play chess against an opponent that’s always one step ahead? Well no matter snoopy decides to play another female card and all of a sudden starts stroking my plush friend. Ahh rofl in my head – women are so arrogant – they think they can just touch whatever they want as if they owned the world. By actions of our fellow men though we have indeed given it to them and turned ourselves into pawns of the matriarchy. How many of us male readers would think it’s appropriate to just suddenly start stroking someone else’s accessories? Its a coin flip chance of getting beat into a bloody pulp by the end with most men. Anyway I know snoopy is too astute I just make a forgettable comment and ignore her sideshow and get back to target girl. Eventually snoopy leaves as I start telling target girl I don’t believe her name is real. I find myself at a loss of convo topics and take the reactionary position to target girl’s random comments. I knew in the future I really had to look at fundamentals. I know women don’t expect you to be a talk show host or comedian – but in truth – THEY DO. As Pook later confirms it is the male’s job to keep the conversation flowing – and if not – even if it’s no fault of his own – the male is seen as boring. I make mental note of connecting better for next time.

I eventually leave the table and start looking for more gaming targets. I end up traveling here and there before seeing reno girl again and hitting her table up to find out more about her. And what I find out spawns part 1 of our tale. So yeah – reno girl was just in the way – I really wanted to go after target girl but was wonderfully sidetracked. Reno girl was much more compatible with me anyway but she eventually reveals her low interest which breaks the deal for me as I’ve been down that road before. You know how women always say they’d have someone they’d marry and someone they’d fcuk? I guess it’s kinda like that.

Further revelations to unfold…

Consider the following section a parallel run to the reno girl series. I make a few more misplaced attempts at target girl in subsequent visits to try and get some rapport going. Unfortunately she seemed a bit jaded by the supplication-fest that would take place around her each time. If only men knew how much they’ve ruined it for the rest of us : – P. Given that I needed something bold and decisive once again to rock the boat and answer all my questions in one fell swoop. The precursor to ‘number or kino’ was what I termed ‘dropping the bomb’. I actually ‘dropped the bomb’ per se back in the prequel but since the resulting blast charred me to a crisp I’ve decided to modify bought form and matter to better deliver the payload. I’m not sure if any other method teacher out there has a term for ‘dropping the bomb’. It’s basically just me being really direct to get the muddied stalled car started again.

So yeah in one visit I’m just talking with target chick as usual and she doesn’t seem the least bit interested overall. Everything is basically dead-ending and I hate carrying an entire conversation all by myself. If I wanted to do that I’d just start writing again so there! After a while of this nonsense I decided it was time to lift up the glass and drop the bomb. Maybe it’s not so much being direct as more making your last stand – the ‘fight’ being chosen when ‘flight’ is no longer an option. After another long awkward silence I launch the bomb and ask her straight up if she plays World of Warcraft. She suddenly gets this really annoyed ‘oh god this is the 40,000th time someone’s asked me this’ look on her face and she calls out for the casino supervisor. Oh fcuk!!! And this is where it ends isn’t it…  the culmination of all my misplaced attempts and gutshots have come to this. Another gap in time opens for me to recollect my thoughts as the casino supervisor makes her way over:

……….You know I actually don’t play WoW all that much like most people.  Well not enough to represent who I am in it’s entirety. Hardly enough to cost me my welcome in this casino for life – gddamn!!! I only chose WoW because it was more of a congruence and open-mindedness test. Most of the people I know play the game or at least tolerate it enough to not get annoyed at the very first mention of it. I guses what I really wanted was to see if she was someone I could get along with and even though WoW does not fit directly into the equation it’s more a representation of what kind of people I currently associate with. I just sit around and chat 80% of the time anyway in game. Congruence test. I could have lied and said I save cute baby turtles every other weekend and have her totally in awe but only players do that – I’m not a player – I don’t play the game – I “PLAY” the game. (if anyone out there is still wtf at what I just said – I don’t play within the confines of the game – I play to define the confines of the game itself). I want something real and nothing short of that. I won’t sell myself out to be with this girl once again it’s all or nothing. And if this is the price I have to pay for standing up for what I truly want then let it be!!! I clenched my ass in preparation for getting kicked out of the place for good. ……….

The casino supervisor walks over and suddenly states, “So you play WoW – what server do you play on?” with a smile. Who would’ve known – she was a WoW player too! She suddenly goes off pointing out other WoW players in the staff and quickly runs through random musing rants about how addicting the game is. We have instant rapport and she is talking her mouth off excitedly about the game. Apparently I dropped the bomb and had an epic hit – just a tad off target of course in my own true fashion : – D. Eventually after this event the bomb would evolve quite a bit more until it had it’s last launch at a cute Hooter’s drink girl in Vegas by the craps table sometime in January.

::Hooters girl with drinks coming up the aisle – every guy supplicates on the way – pathetic… She finally gets to me::

>> stuff denotes Hooters Girl

Excuse me, quick question for ya

>> Yeah?

Do you play World of Warcraft by any chance?

>> No.

[psuedo-condescendingly] Oh sorry, we can’t be together then : – P.

>> ::giggle transitioning into laughter::

OK so it wasn’t exactly an oscar winning performance but at least it was a nice bit of contrast to the usual “Ohhh you’re soooooo [hot/cute/pretty/whatnot]”. Call it observation bias but I swore I got better service than the rest of the blokes from then onwards. Usually drink girls are kinda stiff with the drinks especially on crowded tables – getting another 1 within 30 mins of finishing your first is good service. I was juggling no less than 2 full drinks at any one time on the craps table rack back in Vegas that day!

Anyways back to the story. Quite a bit later I come up around April for a friend’s birthday to Reno and target girl is there. This was the very next visit since dropping the bomb. She sights me at the adjacent table just as she’s about to go off shift and she is markedly different from last visit – all energetic and excited. She suddenly just looks at me and says she remembers me – and mentions stuff from Part 1 of our story about the plushie frog and some stuff I didn’t know like how’d she know I like playing Craps so much? I don’t remember ever telling her much about the game (I did tell Reno girl I like craps though). She specifically names one specific event from a year ago where I was at a craps table and in my mind I’m just wtf stunned. So yeah she definitely knows who I am – she remembers – and she seems really happy and excited to see me. What the devil – this is too off character for her who’s usually neutral at best and indifferent at worse. I’m sensing some major incongruence – my mind has already made up what’s going on. Since she knows I like her she is totally using it against me to try and manipulate me – well no game there. Silly girls and their silly use of sexuality to get them what they want oldest trick in the book. There is only one problem though – she has a certain sort of gravitas about her – and I do still like her. A few days after the fact I get smitten with her for the next week or so despite my logical mind’s more accurate assessment of the situation. Gddamn, Girls just have their way of grabbing you by the balls and it’s this mechanism that has left their growth of power unchecked. As Pook says men conquer worlds and women conquer men. I think there was also Esther Villar’s assertion from ‘The Manipulated Man’ which asserted women were indeed more powerful because of the fact that they only needed to conquer the man to get half or more of what he had. Anyway my point is that sometimes you get played even when you know it’s happening. It’s like any dungeon crawl video game where you take a too low level character to a too high level area and no matter how well you play you still get trounced. You do everything perfectly and you still get trounced.

So yeah the next time I bloody hell pledge number or kino. I am almost sure target girl is bluffing she admires me for her own ends but the number or kino will definitely put an end to that nonsense. It’s a long shot at best but as Steve Pavlina reiterates (from others) it’s just plain stupid to not make a cheap bet with little risk and a tangible chance of victory that could potentially pay very large payoffs. So it has come to this.

The big show.

Up and down up and down and finally out as I open the last glass door into Virginia Ave. The air is nice and warm out and the black of night had just begun. I look down the street at the Reno arch – a sight I haven’t seen consistently for the past year or so. Just for touristy kicks and since it looks nice out I whip out my cellphone and try to get a shot of the arch at night. I press the button and the phone goes ‘Memory full – error’ what the devil!? I take it as a sign along with a feeling in my gut that maybe this moment shouldn’t be taken and move on (I later find out that my cell camera works fine and had no problems taking pictures from there on out – so it really was just that one moment – creepy). I walk slowly down the street – stomach still stuffed with a strange mixture of sushi, pizza, ribs, and mountain dew. A familiar feeling of pre-show dread starts welling up in my stomach as my mind slowly comes to terms with the certainty in which I will observe and criticize myself for the next few hours. Only this time I’m not used to the feeling – a long time has passed and the show has gotten kinda old. The feeling lingers and grows stronger – the lbs of food in my stomach doesn’t help. Just as I reach the last door for the casino I have this vague feeling of wanting to throw up. Just as a precaution I rush into the usual restroom and recollect myself. On my way in I see reno girl at the corner of my eye sitting bored at one of the tables but I don’t make the effort to say hi. In my mind the story is over with her and I have a feeling for her it’s the same. I finally turn the corners into the restroom and take a good assessment of myself in the mirror.

I look

Life follows exactly your thoughts. When I was excited everything was more exciting, brighter, funner, more dramatic etc… When I came to terms with it life came to terms with me. When I grew tired of it life grew tired with me. Things became duller, less exciting, overdrawn. Life is reflective.

see rg – confirm

walk around – find her tg

is it her? talking not busy

I sit – another knows me pcard

we start playing then up 50 cgirl next

supplication fest with cgirl – were in disbelief

get call for 25 coronitas

get half – confirm – other half

get back to cgirl then ttgirl who has lots of tt’s takes cash

then tgirl dont recognize

can you drink 25 coronitas? yah man…

hair neg, familiar, where from

takes rest of my cash – what are we gonna do about it?

our of cash creep a bit

see others skankfest

I look around the room then back at her. I realized she had more in common with the surrounding wildlife than I had thought.

rg comes up talks case closed

go down crps see her again she’s cool 4 points make money back 110$ish

(work in progress)

A power play / The 5 month cycle
June 29, 2011, 7:00 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Just a few short updates:

A power play

I got a Kill-a-watt EZ power usage monitor to start seeing how much power various devices consume and decipher the enigma of the kilowatt-hour – the main metric used by power companies to charge you. The Kw/hour was actually a deceivingly simple concept all along! It was just the avg. amount of wattage a device used in a 1 hour time frame. A 1,000 watt heater run for 1 hour uses 1 KW/hr.  The same heater run for 5 hours uses 5 KW/hr. A 200 watt computer run for an hour uses 200 watts/hour (1/5th of a kilowatt hour). A 10 watt lightbulb would have to run 100 hours to reach 1 KW/hour of usage.

Energy over here is priced by tiers with the first tier being up to ~8-10 KW/hrs a day (meaning you get to use 8,000 to 10,000 total watts per 24 hours) and the 2nd tier doubling in price up to 12ish KW and anything above that being the 3rd tier which is quadruple the price! Thus we get some unholy progression like 12 cents, 24 cents, 40ish cents per KW/hr for power. We get some interesting insights from there:
1) It is almost impossible to run on almost 8-10KW/hr’s per day and stay totally in tier 1 energy charges. I think this is by design. To stay in tier 1 you either need to average 400 watts continually for 24 hours or 800 watts for 12 hours and hibernate the other 12 with everything off (I mean EVERYTHING). My computer playing WoW and monitor and lamp take up around 200 watts total per hour while they’re on and that’s just my room. If you have a family running things in all 5 rooms forget it! A fridge will switch off between using 200 watts and 0 watts and if it’s on 12 hours a day that’s a 100 watt/hour continual drain all by itself. My older computer takes up 180 watts all by itself while my newer one with cheapo video card takes up about 150.

If you’re single and the only one or two living at a ceratin address you may be able to pull off tier 1. If not get ready to get rammed up the ass by your PG&E Smartmeter!

2) Power is expensive! And we use a lot of it just doing our thing! To reduce power usage though you need to attack the big players. For example the saltwater aquarium here is one of the biggest consumers avg’ing 250 watts without the lights on (only at night) and 510 watts with (most of the day). That box of water itself is our tier 1 energy allocation!!! Turning off your 9 watt energy saver bulb is only going to save you at most 40 cents if you don’t leave it running for 100 hours. Sure the little things add up but make sure you get the big boys first before chasing the small frys as it usually takes the same amount of effort to investigate a big boy as a small fry.

The 5 month cycle

I noticed if I get into a new hobby I only stick with it for about 5 months before I move on to something greater. fin. Makes me wonder how things like this blog or some other things I do persist beyond the 5 month cycle. It’s like the menestraul(sp? don’t give a damn!) cycle but only for me!

On that note I’m going to start winding down my casino hobby. I’m still doing it and all but now we’re on the otherside of that hill. Like all the other stuff I like though it never really goes away for good – my main focus just shifts away from it temporarily. Hobbies do tend to overlap though i.e. I painted edgespots on my solid casino chips with acrylic paints a weeknight or two ago and I want to try molding/casting my own poker chip using customized colors by doping the solution with food coloring!